Singlehood: Chance, Choice or Curse?

I used to hate it whenever some people would ask me why I’m still single. I always get the raised eyebrows and puzzled looks on their face whenever they would hear my reply to their exasperating question of my status. What makes it worse is that their question often comes with “why?” which forces me to elaborate all of the reasons why I’m still stuck up with this singleness. Is it my choice or just chance? When people keep on asking me that frustrating question again, I really don’t know what to answer. Frankly, my being single is both my choice and chance but sadly, some people makes me feel like it’s a curse. Sometimes, whenever I see couples bedazzled with love for their partners, I feel a pinch of confusion. Come to think of it, for numerous times already, love has tried to knock on my door but it’s just myself who keeps it locked. Why? Because unfortunately, whenever I try to entrust to someone the keys, they turn out to be either trespassers or just passers-by. And so, I always see to it that anyone who is brave enough to knock on my door ought to be deserving.

Boys, men, guys? - I’ve met almost all of them; from the player, to nerd, jock, heartthrob, loyal type, womanizer, the list is endless. And what conclusion have I formed out of those? Men always have imperfections. It’s either you accept them that way or search for a perfect one which is of course, nonexistent and in the process of searching, you will only end up wasting time. In the end you’ll realize that there can only be one person for you – one that is imperfect but perfect for your love.

Now, why am I still single? Some will definitely say I’m too picky, has high standards or is unreachable. They could be right but then again, they’re not. If I’m too picky, I’ll die lonely. If I have high standards, even Tom Cruise won’t be good enough for me. If I’m unreachable, then only a king can bring me down from my pedestal.  What could be the reason then? Truth is, in my case, I haven’t yet met that someone who can prove to me that love is not all about pain.

Being single is never a crime. No one can force you to be attached to someone if what you really prioritize aside from your family are your studies, achievements, social life, extra curricular activities and friends. On my part, my single status is my chance to go out and explore more without any limitation because being in a relationship may give me one. I know a lot of single guys and girls who are desperate to have a partner to the point that they tend to loose their self esteem and in the end, they are the ones who are left misjudged. Because of their too much longing for a partner, they end up being with the wrong person and in the end regret, what they did. Most of the time when we hurry things, they turn out to be a mistake. On the bright side, it’s a lesson learned by you and everyone.

Indeed, true love will never come to someone who looks for it. Love is not planned, it’s more of a destiny. The right one will come for you at the right time and all you have to do is enjoy what you have because oftentimes, the person meant for us comes whenever we are least expecting it. Just like a butterfly, you will find a hard time catching it if you will chase it all throughout the day but if you will just sit back and lay your arms for it to be free to rest on, the butterfly will just come to you.

 So for singles, don’t hurry love. Love comes to those who have patience to wait and of course to those who deserve it or those who have been broken once but is still willing to take a risk everything for their feelings. But of course, you should not depend your happiness on someone, because you are not a parasite. You’ll feel more self-fulfilled if you are proud of your independence.

Now don’t be surprised why some people choose to go solo. However, being single can sometimes be gloomy. (But take note, it’s not all the time). If you are also single, I know that there are times you may feel like you are all alone in this world, no one to call, no one to exchange mushy I love you’s with as if no one is loving you. Hence, ponder on this, If someone is single, does it necessarily mean that he/she is lonely? Does it make a person incomplete? Really, do we have to follow the dictations of our society just for just to boost our self esteem? This may be a passé but let me emphasize it again: No man is an island. Never ever say no one loves you because what are your parents doing then? Don’t even forget that you have your friends and ofcourse the omnipotent God who is the perfect proof that no matter who you are, no matter what you look like or whatever status you have, somebody loves you. Succinctly, being single is not a curse for it is also a choice (may be a better one).